8 Reasons why being in a band is like being in a Long Term Relationship

Being in band can be intense at times. It's been one of those months, and sometimes I've wondered if life would be easier if we just cut out the middle man and married each other. Yes, it would mean a trip to Utah to legalise a five-way-wedding, but Utah is right next to Vegas - which would make for one hell of a honeymoon! Here's my list of 8 reasons why being in a band can sometimes feel like you're in a long term relationship - with four other people.



1. Borrowing each other's stuff without asking.


If I had a dollar for every time I'd gone in my case to find my tuner, lead, 9 volt, spare string, whatever..... only to find it missing or not how I left it, I would be very rich indeed. But, I give as good as I get and at present, only 75% of the strings on my guitar were paid for with my money. So, that one balances itself out!





2. Knowing where each other is, every day of the week!

Keeping track of each other has it's merits; it's hard to book a gig if you don't know if everyone's available and that expensive rehearsal room won't be free just because you left it to sit empty for a week. Having to put in for your three day trip to visit your family home six months in advance is pushing though - so watch out for control freaks!


3. You have "mutual friends".

If your band gigs regularly, chances are you'll meet each others friends. Meet them often enough and they'll become yours too. I recently went through my Facebook friends list to send out invites to a gig, and discovered to my horror that I knew less than twenty people in my area who weren't mutual friends of "Insert Band Name Here".



Those twenty event invites went a long way to getting the numbers up at our gig - NOT!!!

4. Arguments about money.

The music industry is an industry and it requires an input of cash from somewhere. Whenever it requires a cash injection from you; be it expensive studio fees, band merchandising costs, or top quality CD pressings, try not to argue about it! Like a relationship, it only slows things down and wastes energy.

Unlike a relationship, the making up afterwards is nowhere near as good!

5. Spending way too much time together.

When a group of creative types work well together, it can be hard to switch off and tune out for a while. In my current situation, musical matters get discussed nearly everyday. There's trips to the pub to check out other bands, weekly rehearsals, gigs at least once a week, piling into each others living rooms for an emergency song writing session......a night off just doesn't seem to exist. But if your band are buddies, being in constant demand can be one of the best things! Just watch out if your significant other asks you flat out if you're still in a relationship and feels the needs to add "with just the two of us?"

6.  Meeting the family.

When your band gets to the level where it needs the kind of time commitment a full-time job would, it's only natural your paths will cross with each other's families. This is also a big plus in my book; especially if you're a mixed gender band. Some of my band buddies Mrs's are my best friends and all those late nights and absent weekends won't raise any suspicious eyebrows if partners are kept in the mix.

7. Moving in together - sort of.

If things start to hot up with your musical act, it's only a matter of time until you have to expand your horizons and play gigs outside of your home town. When this happens, you may find yourself sharing a car, a hotel room, or even a tour bus with them. It's these times in the lifespan of a band when you discover just how small a drummers bladder can really be, and wonder whether or not you should just stick your finger up there yourself to see how inflamed that prostate is really getting.








8. Celebrating significant life events together. 

Just like that scene from Guns N' Roses "November Rain", you may find yourself tearing up at the sight of one of your bandies getting married. This has happened to me twice and has been the only two moments in my life when it's been remotely acceptable for me to compare myself to Slash.

For better or worse, for richer or poorer, being in a band is one of life's most awesome adventures and I wouldn't change it for the world!

Happy New “Year of the Groove”; an interview with Worldwide Groove Corporation

New Year’s Resolutions; why make them? January is a month that always really ticks me off for two reasons. One, the terrible weather in the UK and two, all the newbies at my gym who pack the place out solidly for three weeks, then you never see them again. Their sweat is barely dried on the seat of the exercise bike and they've already broken their resolution.

A novel way to stick to a resolution is to start it in July. That’s exactly what Worldwide Groove Corporation did when they started the "Year of the Groove”. The electronic music duo from Nashville have set themselves the challenge of putting out one release a month for at least a year. 

Their musical fingers have been in a range of pies with their work being used in film and TV and even as part of a partnership between WGC and the Right to Know organisation that aims to increase public awareness about genetically modified foods. They were even responsible for the Supermodel Astronaut Challenge; a social movement that spread as far as Europe and landed them a feature in the Huffington Post. With so much going on, I wondered how they even found time to work on their music.

As soon as I came across the “Year of the Groove” concept, I wondered what inspired them to set this challenge. For me, a release every month would be tough! I tend to release songs in bundles after spending months fiddling with them and going backwards and forwards until I snap! Perhaps a strict deadline is just what I need? Let’s see how it’s working out for them so far….

You've set yourselves the "Year of the Groove" challenge. What motivated you to do this?

"This is what we came up with to solve a few things that were keeping us from putting out any new music. We'd been working for 7 years on new music since our last album in 2007. It felt like it would take another decade before we could finish, since all of this is a side project and we pay our bills with other music work for clients.

After a time, we realised that the music market is more singles driven than albums driven, so it makes sense to simply put put songs as a series of smaller projects. That way we could finish them with graduated deadlines and they didn't all have to be cohesive with one another.

Once a month is actually keeping us working at a very fast pace. But this has been a great experience so far during the first six months. I just hope we survive the last six. HA!"


You pioneered the Supermodel Astronaut Challenge, a social movement that spread as far as Europe. What was the inspiration behind this challenge?

"The thought behind the Supermodel Astronaut Challenge was partly inspired by the ice bucket challenge, in terms of how it's structured, but the concept of it was fuelled by simply seeing so many amazingly strong and beautiful women and girls who don't even recognise their own accomplishments or gifts on a daily basis, because they're so distracted  by the things about themselves that they don't feel measured up. I wanted to endow them with a fitting title that would empower them to celebrate themselves just as they are and quiet that nagging voice of never measuring up because that is soul killing." 

Are these challenges you develop attempts to go viral and market your music in a really original, outside the box way? 

"Yes, but not just that. While it's quiet good to have something new to talk about each month and a reason to stay on people's radars through the "Year of the Groove", it's also driven by the need for regular deadlines or we would never ever finish any of it. The money work always seems to prevail! So when the idea got formulated, it seemed to solve so many problems at once.

As for Supermodel Astronaut,that did gain a lot of traction and landed us on Huffington Post which was really exciting! I'm not expecting it to go viral since that tends to be something that's hot for a moment then it's old news. I'd rather it have a slow burn where as people stumble across it, if it resonates with them, they can take the challenge and spread the word. The response from the girls and women who've seen it so far has been pretty much all positive, so I'd love to do more with the concept at some point. But for now, I'm in it so deep with the "Year of the Groove", there simply isn't enough of me to develop any more Supermodel Astronaut offshoots until I've got a little more time on my hands."

"If we didn't challenge ourselves this way, we'd still be sitting on several unfinished recordings and I' be feeling very creatively frustrated. You can only do so many music jobs for clients before you start to wonder if you're creative soul is still alive and able to create just for the beauty of creating".

If you were giving advice to other artists considering taking on a "Year of the Groove" for themselves, what would you tell them?

If I was going to do it again, I'd change the following...start in January just because it makes more sense, make sure I didn't have too many other obligations, maybe have most of the songs pretty much ready to go before we even begin, also maybe space out the releases a little more than one a month. But hey, we're doing it this way and we're not planning on stopping. Giddyup!

You can see more of Worldwide Groove Corporation's work here:

www.worldwidegroovecorp.com 

A full list of songs released as part of the "Year of the Groove" is available here: www.worldwidegroovecorp.com/the-year-of-the-groove

 and for sale here www.groovecorp.bandcamp.com

When Did This Become OK?; Just Shut Up and Take My Money!

Ok, so when did behaviour like this become ok?

On Facebook, I'm clearly marked out as a musician, somebody musical, someone who's worked in and has experience of the music industry, etc., you get the picture. Today I received the following post on my page:

(Identity obscured to protect the poster)

In case you can't see above, it says "I gotta studio I go to every weekend but I need my own equitment so if you would like to help me with the funds inbox me".

Apart from the obvious terrible spelling and grammar, which I'm trying not to judge the person for, what I am judging them for is the terrible motive behind this post! As you can see above, they've tagged myself and 48 other people in this post, then went straight ahead lazily asking for money with a very vague explanation as to why! No please, no thank you, simply putting their hand out for some of my hard earned money.

As my more regular readers may have noticed, I posted about crowd funding initiatives and my conflicting feelings towards these sites a little while ago. Is this the evolution of crowd funding? I can't be bothered to work so I'll just post on a few Facebook pages and keep my fingers crossed?

What on earth is going on???? 

My big question is this. Has this actually worked for this person? Has anyone been generous/stupid enough to inbox this person saying "Hey, I have no idea what you want this for but here's a hundred bucks! Just shut up and take my money!"

In what world is this how we make, market and love each others music? 

Should I Sign Up to Instagram? A place to connect or a social reject?

I've been thinking about this for a while now; should I sign up to Instagram? This sounds like a stupid thing to deliberate over so I'll explain why I'm so torn.

At a glance, Instagram looks amazing for promoting yourself. All the musicians I follow are constantly uploading photos; guitar pics, studio shots, fan photos......you get the drift. I really love the updates and finding out what's going on in the real lives of some of my idols. But real lives is pushing it slightly.....

I recently did a fill in job for a band who's singer is pretty active on Instagram. To be fair, I was blown away by her dedication to the site. There were a few updates everyday; her morning yoga session, what she ate for lunch and then a picture of her playing an acoustic guitar with the tags #singersongwriter #guitarsession #rockstar #newtunescoming. I did not know this girl very well as I'd never played with her band before and came across her Instagram account while doing my usual pre-new-band research (aka stalking). From looking at her account, I learned that she has two acoustic guitars which she plays almost everyday, she appears to be a very clean eater and works out a lot. By now, she sounds like something from a wet dream.


Well.....Instagram screwed me. Off I went to my jam session with the new band and eager to be friendly and get on good terms with this girl, I began trying to chat guitar with her. One awkward, bumbling conversation later, I had to confess I'd been Instagram stalking her and had seen her guitar pictures, to which all of the guys in the band laughed hysterically. It felt pretty embarrassing.

She quickly set me straight that the photos that had been uploaded were staged! She explained that she could not play the guitar and that the two that appeared in her daily photos were on loan from the band's guitarist, as they were spares in need of repair work.

"I'm still trying to make up my mind if the rationale behind this is stupid or sheer brilliance" - one p*ssed off Instagram Voyeur 

 







I'm still trying to make up my mind if the rationale behind this is stupid or sheer brilliance. The band have all agreed to lie and say that their beautiful, blonde haired, blue eyed, big breasted, 20-something-year-old singer writes all the band's songs on her acoustic guitar to attract more attention to their music. She poses with the guitar in various states of undress, and regularly takes provocative shots, in order to draw men into her profile. Once she's got them, she begins hitting them with stuff about the band.

I was a little uncomfortable with this and I can't even give you a good reason why. You've only got to look at Rhianna and Miley Cyrus to see that using women as sex objects is a tried and tested currency. It just shocked me a little to see a woman going this far to do it to herself.

I was curious about how much effort she put into her Instagram and she seemed only too happy to chat about it. She taught me that it's important to have really regular updates on there, once a day will not get you anywhere. If you haven't got time to do full hair and make up, do a body shot - a guitar is a crotch level instrument and you can use this to your advantage. Don't be afraid to go over the top with the hash tags either; the more you use, the greater the chance of your photo coming up in a search somewhere. There's also a lot of "freaks" out there, so don't be afraid to hook them in - pictures of your feet with the hashtag #footfetish won't hurt you in the popularity contest.

My mind was spinning. There was no thought involved when I signed up to Facebook. All my friends were on there and it seemed like a harmless evolution of MySpace so I just signed up an starting posting.

However, this was not a pop band I was working with; these guys were a rock band and all quite credible musicians. If I felt sad for the singer, I felt ten times worse for the boys in the band. What happens when you don't have nudity and sexually suggestive photos to use as a bargaining chip? If we're honest here, photos of naked men are nowhere near as appealing to the opposite sex as photos of naked women (I'm willing to accept there are a few exceptions to this!) The boys in the band all seemed happy enough to stand behind their hot lead and let her be the face of the group, taking the credit for the collective's hard work. I wondered how far this marketing strategy would take them before cracks started to appear.

In all honesty, Instagram sounds like a lot of work. I'm still in two minds if it's a worth while investment of my time to set up an account and spend a few five minute sessions a day photographing aspects of my musical activities to try and hook in strangers. It just all sounds a little too much like something designed for the beautiful people in life.

My Experience of Crowdfunding and Why I Would Recommend You Stay Clear of It; 90% of cases should probably avoid, the other 10% go right ahead, you'll do great!

Today I had a quiet day at work spending nearly the whole day at my desk. I had my headphones on and Nirvana's Heart Shaped Box came up on my playlist. I haven't heard that song for years and it made me incredibly nostalgic; I remembered how excited I was when I bought my first Nirvana album. I wasn't even a teenager yet, it was the first album I ever bought and by that time it was already over ten years old. I think if I remember correctly it cost me £8. I suddenly felt shocked as I realised I'd actually gone to the record store specifically to buy it. Music was only just becoming downloadable at this point and there was that whole thing with Napster going on and.....well you know what I mean. 

Back then we had to wait to buy our music and I feel incredibly old saying that. I used that purchase to start a neat little row of thin plastic boxes that I kept next to my CD player. Not a day goes by when I don't listen to music and I own neither a CD player nor a single CD! I know it's a pretty petty way of arriving at this conclusion, but the world has definitely changed. 

I wondered what it was like for bands back in Nirvana's day. Dave Grohl is still very much on the go and he's carved a life out of this industry. Trying to follow in his footsteps after the internet has made everything public property seems impossible. 

Seeing as I was running down the clock until quitting time today (and it was Friday!) I ended up on youtube and just so happened to be looking when this newly released acoustic cover of Heart Shaped Box popped up. It's by some amateur and it has a few slightly ropey notes in places, but they've completely changed the instrumentation and it's a pretty clever take on a classic. 

This is what brings me to crowdfunding and why I would recommend you stay clear of it unless you're 100% certain you're going to succeed. Under no circumstances should you take a "Suck it and See" attitude towards this type of thing and I'll explain why. 

Some time ago, my band were desperate to release a five track EP. Every gig we'd play we were asked at least a handful of times if we had any CD's to sell. We didn't, so always referred people to our iTunes account. By the time they'd gotten home, they'd forgotten who we were, how to spell our name or that they even liked us in the first place. We worked out it would cost us roughly £6,500 to record, mix, master, promote, etc. As fate had it, we were contacted online by a company who were starting a new crowdfunding website and wanted us to be an endorsing act for the brand. They offered us free promotion for our campaign and said we'd be used as a success story when the company launched.

At this point, there was no need to be suspicious. Crowdfunding has been in the public eye since 2007 when Radiohead released their album "Rainbows" using a 'pay what you think it's worth' offer. Over 3 million people paid for the album and it was their biggest commercial success so far. I remember hearing about it and being captivated by the idea that I could buy an abum for a penny (not that I did, that would have been so mean!)

It wasn't an easy decision for us to make. Some of us were hesitant to use what could be interpreted as internet begging to fund our next release, and it wasn't the only option available to us. We were all talented musicians and quick learners and I firmly believed we could set ourselves up as a covers band for a few months and raise the money by playing weddings and other paid opportunities.

"The campaign bombed. Not only did it die a slow and painful death, it tore our reputation to shreds along the way. A failed campaign is not a promising indicator of your ability to sell your music."

We were all itching to get back in the studio and use the EP to take our careers to the next level, so in the end we agreed and set to work. The company advised us on how to set up our profile and asked us to make a video explaining why we needed the money. As with all crowdfunding platforms, we were to offer our 'backers' rewards that would correspond to varying levels of financial commitment. 

This was hard to do. The only thing we could really offer them was a copy of the EP which didn't exist yet or perhaps a gig at a location of their choice for a bigger financial contribution. We copied the blueprint of a band who had previously run a successful campaign; hoping our rewards would appeal and we would draw in more backers. 

The campaign bombed. And not only did it die a slow and painful death, it tore our reputation to shreds along the way. Family members of the band were supportive, chucking in about 500pounds between them. We were lucky enough to receive a minimal amount of small donations from randomers on the internet. After that, all we received was criticism; the constant updates on social media annoyed people and one person even went out of their way to contact us and verbally abuse us after we popped up on his Facebook wall somehow. 

To make things worse, the company running the campaign made us do all the legwork, offered little support and harassed us if the total didn't move each day. They were taking a top slice of any money we received, so it was in their best interest that we kept harassing people and begging for their money. Worse still was that we started receiving reports that people attempting to pay online were being directed to some dodgy looking foreign website that they didn't understand. 

A week before the deadline and the total was looking pitiful. We were again harassed by the company who suggested that the band should put our money into the campaign (allowing them to take their top slice!) as nobody wants to have an unsuccessful crowdfunding campaign on their hands and we would loose the little bit of money already in the pot.

What shocked me even more was that it was actually discussed at band practise as if it was a viable option. One member explained that it was money we'd spend anyway at some point down the line but when someone else chimed in that they refused to pay an external company money for nothing, I breathed a sigh of relief and the whole sorry incident was put to bed.

My advice to you is simple; please don't do this unless you're sure you're going to succeed. Through this process, we p*ssed a lot of people off and what hurt the most was that a failed crowdfunding campaign is a big black mark on a band's history. It shows that there is not enough support for your product to make it commercially viable and people really take note of this. If you can't sell your music outside of your circle of family and friends, you're in real trouble. All crowdfunding really does is highlight this in a really public way. There is no doubt in my mind that record label and industry scouts watch crowdfunding platforms like hawks, trying to smell what's selling and jump on it before someone else does. Bombing out on one of these sites will set you back.

The decision is yours. Please make up your own minds, but please be sensible and think it through!

Why Douche is the Most Appropriate Phonetic in Fiduciary Matters; the world thinks it’s ok to ask artists to work for free…. and occasionally I kind of agree.

I really can’t tell you the name of the company involved in this, but this is pretty shocking. So let’s begin…

Some time ago, my band were invited to play at a corporate event. We’d just finished a run of festival appearances, were getting a small amount of airplay on commercial radio and receiving weekly press enquiries. We were keen to keep the ball rolling, and happy to play as many shows as possible, we accepted.

The event was for a big corporation who have branches all over the country. They were planning on opening a new branch and requested only a 30 minute set – “just a little something to get the customers pumped up”. At this juncture, our store contact pointed out that they couldn’t actually pay us, but in exchange for our time, they would feature the band on the homepage of their website and on the accompanying press release about the store opening. The fatal words “It’ll be great exposure for you guys” were uttered, and with that, the transaction was considered valid.

 A week before the gig, we were informed that a performance area had been set up in the parking lot with a stage and what we were told was a “full band setup, just bring your instruments and your own guitar and bass amps”. We continued to check the company’s website for our not-so-free advertising, but nothing appeared. It’s pretty poor etiquette to announce an event before the host does, so nothing about the gig went out on our social networks either. To make matters worse, nobody from the store would respond to our enquiries about the sound system setup, so we had no idea if the venue would be able to cater for our technical specifications.

48 hours before the gig and we’d had enough. The issue was passed over to band management, who sent a rather curt email requesting the corporation hold up their end of the deal or we’d be forced to pull the plug. Problem was – there wasn’t even a plug to pull!

The response was astounding. It was put to us that as the band, we were expected to provide our own sound system and should have sorted this by now. If we were unable to provide this at this late stage, perhaps only our singer and guitarist should perform. When we tried to explain that this wasn’t possible, our booking contact just didn’t understand that a microphone actually needs to be plugged into something to get sound out of it. Shouting her way through our songs over the noise of a busy store would not be an option and we just didn’t have a street-busker style setup we could use.

So, as we were:

• 1.       Unwilling/unable to shell out a few hundred bucks for PA system hire.
• 2.       Unwilling/unable to shell out a few hundred bucks for a van to transport the PA system.
• 3.       Unwilling/unable to spend hours setting up and dismantling a PA system for a 30 minute            gig.
• 4.       Not given our advertising; no sign of any press release with our logo, images, web links on        it, no offer of reimbursement for the expense this would incur.
• 5.       Getting nothing 

We had to pull out.

It was shocking to us that a big corporation like this couldn’t flick us a few hundred bucks for our time, or even sort out the necessary setup we’d need to play some music in their store. What made it even worse was that they were a specialist audio visual entertainment company! Shocking or what?

It’s pretty frustrating that 90% of the world seems to think it’s ok to ask artists to work for free. All those years spent learning your craft and coming up with something fresh and original are suddenly worthless and at times it seems implied that anybody pulled in off the street could do it too – so just get on with it and consider yourself lucky it’s you up there.  But sometimes, I occasionally see where they have a point.

The biggest show I ever played, I played for free.

Actually, at a rough estimate, I played this show for -$800 and it was worth every cent it cost me to get organised for it. A long hot summer some time ago, the group I was with were offered to play on one of the side stages of a pretty significant music festival. Somehow, the stars aligned and we managed to land this gig alongside some big name acts. As a relatively unheard of band, we were told straight up we wouldn’t be paid for this show as we needed it more than they needed us. It would have been just as easy for the festival organisers to have had that side stage sitting empty for the 45 minute slot we were offered and they would have lost no income from taking that option. Instead, they offered us a chance and we had no other choice than to jump on that thing like Van Halen instructed.

When I look back on this, if you care enough about something, have thrown thousands of dollars into it over the years, gotten yourself into and out of debt over it multiple times – what’s another $800 to pay for your lucky break? 

How Syphilis Saved Me; Something for the Musical Science Geeks

There have been so many times in life when I've hit a brick wall and questioned what on earth I thought I was doing? I first thought of spending my life on music at the age of twelve; ten years of studying, writing, gigging and recording later and nothing had happened. Thousands spent on lessons, instruments, studio fees and nothing had happened. Hundreds of hours spent with multiple bands, travelling to and from dirty little pubs and seedy little venues to play to absent crowds. Nothing to show for any of it.

It was on an occasion like this, back when I was nineteen, that I can honestly say Syphilis saved my life and still does to this day.

It was a freezing cold, dark and miserable morning when I woke up at 5:00am to head into the city for an audition. I was nearing the end of my university course and not knowing what to do next, I hoped to enter a conservatoire and study for a few more years. Looking back, it was such an aimless and wasteful plan and to be truly honest, not really the direction I wanted to go in life. Classical music is a wonderful thing, but it's a harsh and rigid discipline. Something that never would have been compatible with me and a world I feared was far too concerned with prestige and class rather than the creativity and freedom I was chasing.

Like a lamb to the slaughter I emerged from the train station a few hours later and joined the taxi queue. I'd only been waiting a couple of minutes when a guy about my age joined the slow moving line, holding a black box the exact same shape and size as my own. Our eyes met for a moment as the awkward realisation we were here for the same purpose dawned on us both. Matching instrument cases in tow, we began a stilted dialogue and decided to share a taxi to the conservatoire audition hall.

The fifteen minutes in the back of that taxi were hellish. He spoke as if he had a mouth full of silver and I don't mean the train track braces I'd recently had removed from my own. He told me his dad played the same instrument we did and held a seat in a pretty high profile orchestra. He told me that he'd been to the auditions last year and had been rejected; this was his last chance before his father made him go and join the air force. I had nothing impressive to say so I sat in silence, taking it all in. My teacher was not my father, nor had he done anything of note with his own musical career; he was a player in an amateur ensemble from a sleepy little country town who had stepped in to give me a little guidance and was the best I could afford.

At this point, he asked if he could take a look inside my case. I thought it would be rude to say no so opened it up and passed it over. It was like I had offered a tray of meat to a vegetarian. He immediately clocked the manufacturer; nothing impressive or of substantial quality, but again the best I could afford. Then like a shark on a feeding frenzy he went searching all over for the serial number.

Finding it, he went on to tell me that his serial started with a string of zeros and ended with the number eight. He'd gone to great lengths to ensure that his was the eighth instrument ever created in that line and was devastated to find his ex-girlfriend had managed to get hold of number six.

At this point my brain went numb. I had no idea that a serial number held so much significance and being deadly serious, I had looked at mine once when asked for the number by an insurance company so I could register the instrument under my mum's contents insurance. I had mistaken it for nothing more than a barcode style assortment of random numbers, used purely for the purposes of tracking an object in the case of a theft.

As he handed my case back to me, I slyly took a look at the engraving on the metal tubing. It didn't end with a low number; it didn't even start with a zero. Slightly stung, I zipped the case closed and like a man with a small penis, I tried to reassure myself that it was what I could do with it that counted above anything else.

Now we get onto the Syphilis....

Needless to say, my audition was a disaster. They turned their noses up at my instrument, very curtly told me they'd never heard of my teacher before and made me feel like I'd turned up to World War 3 with a BB gun and no reinforcements.

I was bewildered, confused and feeling very lost. It was at this point in my life I began to associate with Diego Rivera's painting "Man at a Crossroads".

Visually it's pretty stunning. It's chaotic, confusing and overwhelming, but it holds a thinly veiled dig at high society that's helped me throughout the years. If you look at the central scene, you see a figure who appears at the heart of the crossroads; somehow connected to everything yet involved in nothing. He looks just as lost and powerless as I've felt at times, yet still seems to be driving the entire image.

My favourite part of this whole painting is the tiny Syphilis cell that appears floating above the heads of a group of socialites; the type who would probably care more for serial numbers and prestigious brand-name music tutors, than for raw talent or artistic integrity.

Here's my beloved Syphilis cell circled in red.

It's message is pretty clear. You might be rich and have every luxury in the world, think you're above life's scandals and hardships and intend on using your connections and wealth to cruise through life, but underneath it all you're just as susceptible as the rest of us.

And susceptible he was. Daddy's good name and bottomless pockets didn't save him from the firing squad and he was dismissed along with me. 

I don't remember his name and I'm not even sure I correctly remember what he looked like but I haven't forgotten him in the years since that day. We shared a taxi back to the train station where he suggested I catch a later train and we go for a drink so I "had time to process what had just happened". 

I realised it must have cut him deeper than it did me. While I was disappointed, I would be returning to an empty room in my halls of residence to binge on some junk food and finish my course work; he would be returning to his family home to explain to his father that he had missed the mark again.  

I never forgot how I felt on that day. The audition was over before it had started and even though I was in no way ready to be accepted onto the course, I was dismissed for all the wrong reasons. The musical world can be a little like that. I've heard stories of amazingly talented artists being shot down for all kinds of silly reasons, but sometimes it helps to remember that the person doing the shooting down isn't above it all themselves.